The Gift of a Sesame Seed.....
At the age of 26 I knew that I was ready to start having children. Yes..... I knew it was a very big decision because of the monumental differences that would occur simply by adding a little one who would be completely relying on my care, example, decisions, protection, etc., etc. etc.....
What I wasn't prepared for was the overwhelming, unconditional, powerful emotion that would flood into my heart, body, and soul the moment that I first saw that tiny being.....my flesh, my child, my love, my life!
Each time I gave birth to that new life, it carried the same intense emotion with it, charging me with a fierce energy and awareness that THIS was the most important opportunity that I would ever experience in my lifetime.
My three children have filled my life with joys on every level. Rocking for hours while laughing, talking, snuggling, reading, sleeping. Curiousity conversations about everything under the sun, haircuts, pigtails, wild hair, & braids, goats in the middle of my kitchen, toys piled in baskets and shelves, cries in the middle of the night, chicken pox, cushions for Mom with broken bones, eating broccoli worms, kittens on the stairway, standing on a stool washing dishes, picking mulberries, packing a picnic lunch, swims in the creek, favorite pets, picking the grean beans - plant and all, lessons on poison ivy, dancing in the kitchen, running from point to point just to catch another glimpse in the cross country races, cheering from the backside of the track for the long distance races, shaving imaginary beards, lugging musical instruments around in gray-taped cases, unrolling the whole roll of toilet paper, what-to-wear-today dilemmas, piano lessons & recitals, excitement of giving or getting presents, first cars, magazine shopping, little feet running to get me a diaper, baths in the sink, slip & slides in the bunk house, chocolate chip cookies and licking the beaters, music blairing, JAM, friends spending the night, tents and underground forts, smoking tampons, goats eating my fruit trees, late-night movies with popcorn, graduations, honors & awards, tears when leaving for college, learning to drive on snow & ice, splitting a large DP between all of us, learning to snow ski, trips in the bus, throwing up on the carpet, snuggling up at the end of the day just to be close...... This list is infinite!
Although the beginning of those days are now over a quarter of a century passed, the memories through the years have reinforced what I started out believing.....This WAS the most important opportunity that I would have in my lifetime! :)
Today, I am reaping the gifts of what has been sowed. My children have all become kind, caring, thoughtful, adventurous, independent, curious, intelligent, and loving beings. I couldn't be more proud of each of them. They are all young adults and continue to learn more about themselves and what they want from life each day. I smile as I think about what will unfold in each of their lives as they move through time.
With this movement.......I am now experiencing an entirely new joy, in particular. The cycle of life is endless in the gifts that we receive and I am looking at that horizon with the beautiful knowledge that my child will now share this wonderful experience with her own child.
"Not but a Sesame Seed" is planted in my heart and the anticipation of that beginning is a breath of fresh air. It's hard to imagine something that is now so tiny will grow to become a new life strengthening this glorious circle of love. But believe me....it will happen. So Happy!!
